The Economy Freaks Me Out!

Sometimes I think ignorance would be bliss. I know too much about economics to not think that we are going into the next big depression. I currently have 2 friends who think they will lose their jobs shortly and I myself know economic hardship as my current job is a 30k pay cut from my last job and yet....I am employed, thank the Lord. I keep thinking that I need some extra money so I'll sell off some of my stocks and then I remember that they aren't really worth anything anymore.

I Fail At Life

Yesterday getting home from work at about 20 past 11, I decide to go ahead and get my mail. I do this mainly because there are 2 things I'm waiting for: Tax return stuff and grad school stuff. Well I got my first response on the latter. A big fat rejection from K-State. Now did I really want to head back to Kansas? Maybe, maybe not....but c'mon, K-State is my alma mater. If any school should want me as a grad student it should be K-State didn't I already give them tons of money for my undergraduate degree...they know I'm good for the cash!!! I still have 2 schools I haven't heard from yet, but this was sort of a punch in the face or the gut. I feel sort of queazy. I'm afraid my next career move will include the phrase "would you like fries with that?"

Frog Prince

My mother got me this exact stuffed animal frog when I was hospitalized with kidney stones the first time. I named him Mr. McFrogger and this little frog is so dear to my heart. She told me that I would need to "kiss a lot of frogs" before finding the one that is a prince. She gave it to me about 2 weeks before Tim and I started officially dating. I thought I was done kissing frogs but it was not to be. I have since kissed more and more frogs and I just would like to be done now.

New Year

I think I can definitively state that 2008 was the worst year of my life to date. I am really looking forward to a new start. I've been busy with the holidays, holiday visitors (namely ex-boyfriends whose name starts with a T and ends with an IM) and the oh so fun graduate school applications. That last one is my focus for the month so you might not hear to many peeps from me until I have received a letter of acceptance.

How Did You Die

By Edmund Vance Cook

Did you tackle that trouble that came your way
With a resolute heart and cheerful?
Or hide your face from the light of day
With a craven soul and fearful?
Oh, a trouble’s a ton, or a trouble’s an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it.
And it isn’t the fact that you’re hurt that counts,
But only how did you take it?


You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what’s that?
Come up with a smiling face.
It’s nothing against you to fall down flat,
But to lie there -- that’s disgrace.
The harder you’re thrown, why the higher you bounce;
Be proud of your blackened eye!
It isn’t the fact that you’re licked that counts;
It’s how did you fight and why?


And though you be done to death, what then?
If you battled the best you could;
If you played your part in the world of men,
Why, the Critic will call it good.
Death comes with a crawl, or comes with a pounce,
And whether he’s slow or spry,
It isn’t the fact that you’re dead that counts,
But only, how did you die?

Time for thanks...

I am stressed out right now. I have not forgotten about Spain, I swear I will get that blog finished one of these days but it has been hard for me to do anything besides keep my head above water. I usually write a list of things I'm thankful for but to be quite honest I don't think that these past few months have been a joyful time for me. I am glad to be closer to my family and happy I have a job even if it is the bain of my existence. My big news for Thanksgiving is that Tim is coming to visit. I am filled with excitement and terror simultaniously. I haven't seen him since that fateful day I left California and my whole life behind. It has been nearly 4 months and do I feel more over it yet? Not a bit. I love Tim, I don't know how that can change, but at leaset it doesn't feel quite as weird to be dating other dudes at this point.

Hear Me Out

"Hear Me Out" - Frou Frou

I join the queue on your answerphone
And all i am - is holding breath
Just pick up i know you're there
Can't you hear - i'm not myself

Oh go ahead and lie to me
You could say anything
Small talk will be - just fine
Your voice is everything
We owe it to love
And it all depends on you

So listen up - this sun hasn't set
I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling
Just hear me out - i'm not over you yet
It's love on the line can you handle it

So how do i do normal
The smile i fake - the permanent wave of
Cue cards and fix it kits
Can't you tell - i'm not myself

I'm a slow motion accident
Lost in coffee rings - and fingerprints
I don't - wanna feel - anything
But i do
And it all comes back to you

So listen up...

So listen up
Look at me straight
Just hear me out
Don't make me wait
I'm not myself
I can't take this
Love's on the line
Is that your final answer

I join the queue...

So listen up...